I'm sitting on a plane right now drinking my 2nd margarita and reflecting on several conversayshuns I've been having with my Gems over the past couple weeks. So one thing Mother of Pearl has taught me is that a closed mouth don't get fed. If you want something you have to open your mouth and ask for it. Now as we all know, communication is essential for successful relationships but what some fail to acknowledge is that communication is key in sex as well. Now I'm not just talking about the dirty talk you like to talk when he's deep inside and you both are near that moment of ecstasy. Granted dirty talk is required with some but others may feel like the ladies of TLC “I don't need no conversation with my sexxxx”. (Ahh Crazy Sexy Cool is a classic don't debate me on this 😎). Anywho. It's essential for us to talk to our partners about what it is we want or don't want, what we want to try and what we are definitely not budging on. I was talking with Mr. E about this topic and he was telling me how he feels he's always been a good communicator in regards to relationships and because he's such a simple guy he usually doesn't go outside of his norms. So first I have to give props to Mr. E because most people with penises absolutely suck at communicating…period…so high five to you homie. Now when we were having this conversayshun I was reading between the lines. So granted Mr. E is great at communicating his desires, it didn't seem like he was willing to consider the desires of his partner (Note: I'll try to always use partner as opposed to boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/boo thang etc. Reason being is you don't need to have a title to have a “roll in the hay”. Granted that is what's preferable to some, I'm not here to force any beliefs on anyone 😉. Now what was I saying 🤔?) Oh! For example, he may not want to participate in anal play neither his nor hers and he's welcome to have that opinion. But what if his partner likes to have a thumb in her butt when he's hitting it from the back? Does he not oblige at least once? Just to see why she likes it so much? How does he know he won't appreciate her reaction just as much as she will appreciate the action? What if she asks him about it and he shuts the idea down so strongly she's afraid of bringing it up and now she's stuck w/ boring vanilla sex because Mr. E is afraid to try something different?! Now don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with some good ol vanilla sex, but every once in a while a girl needs some sprinkles, chocolate sauce, nuts something extra ya feel me?! 😏. Now I also had this conversayshun with Ms. Topaz and in the grand scheme of things she's picking up what I'm dropping down (damn I'm old) but she also likes to play devils advocate 🙄.
For the sake of full disclosure…I'm now at a bar at an undisclosed location having a very large margarita and man this thang is good. Please blame any further grammatical errors on the aaaaaalcohol 😝.
Ok so Ms. Topaz, aka the devils defense attorney, says that “Yes, communication is essential but what if my partner tells me he wants to try something hella freaky like a threesome and…I'm nothing? Do I need to compromise and bring a broad in the bedroom just to make him happy and now i feel like he cheated on me?” Short answer is always No! Slightly longer answer…Don't ever do anything you aren't totally comfortable with! In my opinion (note MY OPINION) a thumb in the back door and threesomes are on two different ends of the spectrum. But for some the feelings are the same “I don't want to do it.” So Ms. Ro what can Mr. E & Ms. Topaz do? Haven't you been following along? Communication and compromise! Talk to your partner, tell them your misgivings, bad experiences or fears. If your partner feels comfortable enough to ask you to put a thumb in the back door the least you can do is explain your “No.” You'd be surprised. They may help you see things from a different perspective. And if you still feel like it's not for you…compromise.
There are these really interesting stores all across the county, some are huge corporate run businesses and others are small mom and pop stores that you've probably never paid much attention to in your everyday journeys. These stores sell adult products gasp and will almost always have something for every situation. Your partner wants a thumb in the back door? There's a butt plug for that. Your partner wants to experience two women at once? There are these wonderful things called masturbators shaped like, vaginas, butts, your favorite porn star, even some shaped like a mouth. See compromise 😜!
Moral of the post don't ever be afraid to speak up for what you want or don't want. And don't be afraid to try something different. As the Mother of Pearl said, a closed mouth don't get fed. And you'd be surprised you might actually find something you like 😎.