Thursday, June 22, 2017

Major Key Alert!!! Communication & Compromise are essential


Hey lovers and lushes!

I'm sitting on a plane right now drinking my 2nd margarita and reflecting on several conversayshuns I've been having with my Gems over the past couple weeks. So one thing Mother of Pearl has taught me is that a closed mouth don't get fed. If you want something you have to open your mouth and ask for it. Now as we all know, communication is essential for successful relationships but what some fail to acknowledge is that communication is key in sex as well. Now I'm not just talking about the dirty talk you like to talk when he's deep inside and you both are near that moment of ecstasy. Granted dirty talk is required with some but others may feel like the ladies of TLC “I don't need no conversation with my sexxxx”. (Ahh Crazy Sexy Cool is a classic don't debate me on this 😎). Anywho. It's essential for us to talk to our partners about what it is we want or don't want, what we want to try and what we are definitely not budging on. I was talking with Mr. E about this topic and he was telling me how he feels he's always been a good communicator in regards to relationships and because he's such a simple guy he usually doesn't go outside of his norms. So first I have to give props to Mr. E because most people with penises absolutely suck at communicating…period…so high five to you homie. Now when we were having this conversayshun I was reading between the lines. So granted Mr. E is great at communicating his desires, it didn't seem like he was willing to consider the desires of his partner (Note: I'll try to always use partner as opposed to boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/boo thang etc. Reason being is you don't need to have a title to have a “roll in the hay”. Granted that is what's preferable to some, I'm not here to force any beliefs on anyone 😉. Now what was I saying 🤔?) Oh! For example, he may not want to participate in anal play neither his nor hers and he's welcome to have that opinion. But what if his partner likes to have a thumb in her butt when he's hitting it from the back? Does he not oblige at least once? Just to see why she likes it so much? How does he know he won't appreciate her reaction just as much as she will appreciate the action? What if she asks him about it and he shuts the idea down so strongly she's afraid of bringing it up and now she's stuck w/ boring vanilla sex because Mr. E is afraid to try something different?! Now don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with some good ol vanilla sex, but every once in a while a girl needs some sprinkles, chocolate sauce, nuts something extra ya feel me?! 😏. Now I also had this conversayshun with Ms. Topaz and in the grand scheme of things she's picking up what I'm dropping down (damn I'm old) but she also likes to play devils advocate 🙄. 

For the sake of full disclosure…I'm now at a bar at an undisclosed location having a very large margarita and man this thang is good. Please blame any further grammatical errors on the aaaaaalcohol 😝. 

Ok so Ms. Topaz, aka the devils defense attorney, says that “Yes, communication is essential but what if my partner tells me he wants to try something hella freaky like a threesome and…I'm nothing? Do I need to compromise and bring a broad in the bedroom just to make him happy and now i feel like he cheated on me?” Short answer is always No! Slightly longer answer…Don't ever do anything you aren't totally comfortable with! In my opinion (note MY OPINION) a thumb in the back door and threesomes are on two different ends of the spectrum. But for some the feelings are the same “I don't want to do it.” So Ms. Ro what can Mr. E & Ms. Topaz do? Haven't you been following along? Communication and compromise! Talk to your partner, tell them your misgivings, bad experiences or fears. If your partner feels comfortable enough to ask you to put a thumb in the back door the least you can do is explain your “No.” You'd be surprised. They may help you see things from a different perspective. And if you still feel like it's not for you…compromise.

There are these really interesting stores all across the county, some are huge corporate run businesses and others are small mom and pop stores that you've probably never paid much attention to in your everyday journeys. These stores sell adult products gasp and will almost always have something for every situation. Your partner wants a thumb in the back door? There's a butt plug for that. Your partner wants to experience two women at once? There are these wonderful things called masturbators shaped like, vaginas, butts, your favorite porn star, even some shaped like a mouth. See compromise 😜! 

Moral of the post don't ever be afraid to speak up for what you want or don't want. And don't be afraid to try something different. As the Mother of Pearl said, a closed mouth don't get fed. And you'd be surprised you might actually find something you like 😎.

Ok loves. That's all for today.

Saturday, April 8, 2017

My Gems

Hey lovers and lushes!

Ok so let me introduce my Gems to you.

My Gems are essentially my friends that will be the basis of some of our Conversayshuns. They'll also be the people I consult to give different points of view for our Conversayshuns...I mean let's be real since I'm not a man I cannot provide a man's point of view right?
So first up we have Ms. Topaz. Ms. Topaz is a 30 something female entrepreneur. Ms. Topaz is single and not currently looking for Mr anybody. Ms. Topaz is feisty and adventurous and loves to talk about sex just as much as I do. She also makes some mean drinks & I'm sure a few of our drink recipes will come from her.
Next up is Ms. Sapphire. Ms. Sapphire is in her early forties and actively dating. She loves fashion family and dancing. Ms. Sapphire is out going is always up for a shot of tequila and good night out on the town. 
Then we have Ms. Amethyst. She's a 20 something single mother and entrepreneur. Ms. Amethyst is fun and sexy and is on a journey to getting to know her self better and what she really wants. She's the baby of my Gems in age but she's definitely no lightweight, Ms. Amethyst can hold her own anywhere she goes.
Now on to Mr. Onyx (aka Big O). Big O is a single father in his 30s who is actively dating. Big O works in the medical field & is really into health and fitness. Big O is the strong, athletic, silent type with a heart of gold. But don't get it twisted Big O is that dude that'll probably intimidate some and intrigue others.
Next we have Ms. Peridot (aka Ms P.) Ms. P. Is a 30 something teacher who's currently in a relationship. She is an ambitious single mother that is always willing to try something new and doesn't mind getting her hands dirty every now and then.
Then we have Mrs. Diamond. She's a 40 something married mother of 3. Mrs. Diamond is sweet, shy and a naturally nurturing person. She's always asking questions and taking care of others. There is a quiet strength about her that allows her to tell it like it is even when you don't want to hear it.
Next we have Mr. Emerald (aka Mr. E). Mr. E is the ultimate good guy. He's in his 30s and is single and seeking. Mr. E is a confident and intelligent man that stands firm in his beliefs and his desires. Mr. E is the dapper nerd that every woman says she wants but never seems to give a chance.
Now we come to Ms. Garnet Silk (and no she has no relation to the reggae artist except being a fan). Ms. Garnet Silk is a 40 something female entrepreneur. Ms. Garnet Silk has a Caribbean background and is very in-tune with herself. She's creative and fun and refuses to take less than she deserves from people.
Ms. Aquamarine is a quiet artistic soul that is living and vibing to the beat of her own drum. Ms. Aqua is in her 30s but has what we call an old soul. Her aura brings her into contact with many different souls and different experiences and because of that she's become comfortable in all settings. Ms. Aqua is currently awaiting her soul mates aura it meld with her own. But in the mean time between time Ms. Aqua is finding beauty and sensuality in the world of the arts and learning to love the skin she's in.
And then we have Ms. Black Opal. Black Opal is a 30 something woman that works in a corporate setting by day and an entrepreneur by night. Black Opal is a busy woman that is active in her community and get this…she's a virgin 😱. Yes they do exist. Now why have a virgin consult on a blog about sex? Well you'll just have to wait and see. 
Last but not least we have the Mother of Pearl. And yes it's my mama!! You might think it's a little strange talking to ones mother about sex but you haven't met MY mama. And trust me you'll love the gems that Mother of Pearl is constantly dropping.
Well now that you've met my Gems…let have some fun!
Cheers…to Good Drinks and Great Sex
💋Ms. Ro

Monday, April 3, 2017

Introducing...


Hey lovers & lushes!
Welcome to Conversayshuns and Cocktails, where we'll cover all things taboo & alcoholic beverages. Every week we'll get together, grab a cocktail & discuss topics most people won't address in everyday situations specifically those pertaining to sex.
Now let me introduce myself. I'm Ms. Ro aka the future Dr. Ro (claiming it!!). And this blog brings together 2 of my favorite things to do…talking and drinking!!! So I'm 30 years old & I currently reside in Atlanta Ga. I'm a grad student studying Relationship Therapy & Sexology. This blog will be mostly about introducing people to good drinks and ways to have happier healthier sex lives as well as documenting my journey to becoming a sexologist.
Full disclosure…I don't know everything and won't pretend like I do, so we'll sometimes be joined by my Gem Friends, who'll contribute different perspectives for our Conversayshuns. I'll introduce them in another post.
Along will our Conversayshuns we'll be exploring new drinks with each post. Now I'm personally a “brown” type of chic but I'm always open to trying something new. So each post will start with a new drink recipe & end with a mini review.
I must stress that C&C is a safe judgment free zone. Negativity of all types will not be tolerated in anyway shape or form.
Also C&C does not promote underage drinking for any reason!! All drink recipes are for 21 and older ONLY!!
Finally C&C is an advocate of safe sex and recommend that you get tested regularly and always use protection!! There will be a future post all about contraceptives.
If you would like to recommend a drink or have a topic for a conversayshun feel free to email me @ ladyonyxx@icloud.com.
Thanks for joining us!!
Cheers…To good drinks and Great Sex!!!!!
Ms. Ro